at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
