This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
barbara walters just said penis...
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
