I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
did you just send me my own nude
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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