I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
