I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
