His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
