Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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