you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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