how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
