I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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