if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
