the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
