Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
