Have you finally orgasmed yet?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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