in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
did i just pee glitter
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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