that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize