somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
