dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
