Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
