Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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