Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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