My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize