so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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