is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
