Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize