i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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