Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
