I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize