i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
