As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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