He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
My ass is underappreciated
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
