They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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