Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
