you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
