we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
you inspire me to be a worse person
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
