i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
