please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
