She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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