I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
