No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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