1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
