so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
