considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
BRING THE BAGELS
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
