he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You have to summon your inner elephant
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
