Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize