There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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