he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
