Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
