i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
zippers are such a cool invention
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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