ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
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