Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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