part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
