This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
My vagina just recognized that song.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
