too bad you live with your parents still
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize