I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Can I color on your dick again?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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