he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
