After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize