I forgot how hot balto sounded
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
